You Can’t? Or You Just Don’t Want To?
Ask yourself this question: On a scale of one to ten, how uncomfortable are you today?
What was the first thing that popped into your head? Being physically uncomfortable? Mentally? Uncomfortable in your career? As a parent?
Now ask yourself this: How hard are you willing to work to move out of this discomfort?
Let’s use your career as an example. Many people dream of becoming an entrepreneur. They think, ‘If I could just work for myself, I’d have the freedom and flexibility to do whatever I want.’
After being an entrepreneur for more than a decade, I always joke that when people imagine running a business, they always picture their best day.
The Best of the Best.
Let’s say you want to own a coffee shop. In your mind, you see a cozy layout with an abundance of happy customers, all on their phones writing five-star Google reviews because your lattes and cold brews are the best in town. You picture yourself happily sashaying (do people sashay anymore?) from table to table, where each patron is showering you with thanks and compliments for being such a fabulous business owner.
What you don’t picture is the worst day. Your two baristas called in sick, the espresso machine is malfunctioning and the toilet just overflowed because coffee makes people poop.
The same goes for starting a new fitness plan. Many a person has happily signed up for a gym membership with delusions of grandeur.
Don’t misinterpret that. I believe everyone has the capability to do incredible things and reach whatever goals they set for themselves. However, it’s fairly common to hope that our workouts go as pleasantly as we initially pictured.
When it Seems Physically Impossible.
Let’s say you sign up for a cycling class. You imagine a room full of smiling people and a high-energy vibe. You’re not sweating, you’re sparkling. You gently dab the sweat (er, sparkle) from your forehead while you watch the excess fat just melt away after one class, and you can’t wait to go back.
In reality, it’s one of the most uncomfortable things you’ve done in several years. Why do my legs feel like this? I didn’t know I even had this much sweat in my whole body. My crotch hurts. Should my crotch hurt?
I’ve seen this quite a few times over the years in owning my gym. In the early days, I used to explain to people that everything is modifiable (which it is) and that every fitness level is welcome (which they are).
However, I’ve started setting a more realistic precedent: Starting something new like this is going to require some mental fortitude. The sugar-coated version is, this might suck a bit.
As much as I hate cliches, it’s absolutely true that if it were easy, everyone would do it. I firmly believe that your body is a reflection of how you treat it. If you take care of it, it shows. If you don’t take care of it, it shows.
Please don’t misinterpret that either. There is no perfect body type and I’m not implying that everyone should be aiming for fitness model or power lifter body types. Healthy comes in so many different forms.
So, What’s the Difference?
Overall, what I’ve seen is that the difference between those that succeed and those that quit is simply having a realistic idea of what to expect.
Those that end up quitting are simply not mentally prepared for the first phase (approximately 90 days) to be as difficult as it is. But here’s where it gets interesting: It’s not that the first phase is too hard. It’s that it’s harder than you picture, if you picture it being wonderful.
Say what?
Think about a time you went to see a movie that all your friends told you was absolutely incredible. Have you ever been disappointed, simply because the expectation was set so high?
It’s kind of like that with those first 90 days. If you go into it with that can’t-stop-smiling, look-at-me-sparkle expectation, it’s going to be a rude awakening.
Be Realistic. B.E. Realistic.
On the other hand, if you set a realistic expectation, you might just blow your own damn mind. Here’s what realistic sounds like:
Yes, this is going to challenge me.
I am going to be uncomfortable at times.
There will be times where I feel like I can’t do something. In those times, I will ask myself it’s simply that I don’t want to because it’s hard.
Do you see how statements like this will actually set you up for success? Because when the going gets rough, you expected the going to get rough. So it won’t derail you.
You could probably even add another layer to this idea. If you imagine your coffee shop dreams or your fitness routine to be absolutely brutal, the reality might actually be somewhat pleasant.
In other words, if you expected overflowing toilets from coffee shop poops, any day without them would be lovely. If you expected to be lying on the floor after an exceptionally difficult leg day, a tough workout that left you tired would be a win.
Ultimately, it’s all about how you frame the various parts of your day in your mind. Being realistic is the name of the game.
When it comes to your level of comfort in regard to any given situation, if you’re too optimistic, you’ll have to brace for the sucker punch. But if you’re realistic, you’ll likely get what you expected.
I want to hear your stories! Tell me about a time that your expectations weren’t in line with reality. What happened? And what did you do about it?