Four Steps to Kick Your Extra Stress to the Curb
I went for a run the other day. Without a bear chasing me. If you don’t know why people run for fun, I’m right there with you.
So there I was, pounding the pavement. (Is that what runners call it? I’m trying to fit in here.) And up ahead, I saw that the sidewalk was uneven. From afar, it looked like a concrete death trap. Jagged corners jutting out in all directions with an enormous black hole in the center.
Like a ninja, I quickly formulated a plan to run out into the street, avoid the cars and then return to the safety of the sidewalk once my life wasn’t on the line.
But as I got closer, I realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. The distance had made it look way worse. In reality, it was actually fine. As in, one-side-step, quick pivot, avoid death fine.
I shook my head at my overreaction. What a drama queen. It reminded me of an incident a few weeks back when I was driving to a meeting and encountered some unexpected traffic. When I saw a giant line of cars up ahead, I was immediately convinced I was going to be late. I was just about to find a detour when the line started moving. The “jam” I anticipated wasn’t there and I arrived at my meeting… early.
Someone once told me about an interview they had read, asking people in the later stages of life about the things they regretted most. A comment from one of them stuck with me: “I most regret worrying about the things that never happened.”
As you look at your life, what are you worrying about unnecessarily? What are you seeing as a giant mountain (or concrete death trap) that’s actually just a small side-step? What are you making a detour from that’s just creating unneeded stress or work for you?
Over the next week, make some mental notes — or actually write them down if that helps — and notice any patterns where you’re creating extra stress for yourself.
Oh Hey There, Stress.
There are generally three ways stress will show up in your life:
Mental Stress
Mental stress is the kind that tests the durability of your worry-wart pants. If you’re like me (aka a gold-medalist in in worrying), this category will be your jam.
One of my favorite Bible verses is, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Luke 12:25). In other words, you can worry all you want, but worrying will never actually solve your problems.
Mental stress is a tough one because we spend our entire lives in our own heads. The things we say to ourselves — and about ourselves — are impactful in both positive and negative ways. Therefore, it’s imperative to be aware that we’re worrying unnecessarily (and about what) so we can get a handle on it.
Physical Stress
Physical stress can come in several forms. First, there’s the obvious stress that comes from movement, or lack thereof.
This is one of those “choose your hard” things. It’s hard to challenge your body in various ways like strength training, endurance, etc. It’s also hard to challenge your body in carrying too much weight, being too sedentary, etc. Both will make you uncomfortable. Only one is detrimental.
Second, there’s sneakier physical stress that stems from things like a non-stop career or a severe lack of sleep.
Ironically, people will often inadvertently increase physical stress in an effort to decrease physical stress. In strength training, we call that “doing junk reps.” Outside of the gym, it might look like depriving yourself of sleep in order to earn a promotion or win an account. Which will ultimately lead to more work and less sleep.
Emotional Stress
Emotional stress includes things like allowing your emotions to drive your decisions, instead of focusing on what is truly right for you.
And while negative self-talk itself is categorized better as mental stress, the actions you take because of it are likely emotional. Have you ever felt so worthless that you’ve eaten 14 Reeces Peanut Butter Cups? No, just me? That’s the voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough, and then your body making an emotional, knee-jerk reaction to actually believe that nonsense.
Say Goodbye (or At Least Reduce) Your Stress.
Here are a few helpful ways to start taking control and working to reduce your stress:
Take notice of which category most of your stress is coming from: mental, physical or emotional.
Notice any specific phrases you use on a regular basis. Things like, “I’m worried about…” (mental), “If I don’t get this done…” (physical) or “I just can’t do…” (emotional). By speaking to yourself this way, you’re bringing these things to fruition. And most of the time, it’s probably completely unnecessary.
When you feel like you’re overwhelmed or unequipped for a certain situation, make a list of the things that you CAN control. Keep in mind that there is only one person in this world that you can control. (If you don’t know that that’s you, let me be the first to tell you that it’s you.)
Create a list of evidence to support your ability to handle this obstacle. Write down all the times you can remember being proud of yourself, or achievements you’ve earned or any time you can recall thinking, ‘Hell yes. I did that.’
Finally, remember to give yourself grace. There’s no such thing as perfect. And you can waste a lot of time aiming for perfect. This will only detract from the awesome thing called life right in front of you.
There’s no manual for this wild ride and all you can do is the best you can do.
If you screw up, admit it. If you do something great, celebrate it. If you fall down twice, get up three times. And when you see an obstacle in the road ahead, make sure it’s really what you think it is before you get hit by a car trying to avoid a crack in the sidewalk.